Girls kill Roosters
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This awesomenatious match report is brought to you by the lighter (in more ways than one) of the (g)olden greeks Nosti.
The day was perfect for tennis, courts in mint condition, the team “Le Coq Sportifs” (The Sporting Cocks) rearing to go.
Our Team:
Our Team:
Frankie Avalon: Nosti
Andre Agassi: Dennis
The Solo Man: Brian
Superman: Mark
Leading into this game, the pressure was on to get runs on the board but most importantly to get the first win for Superman (otherwise known as Marcus Aurelius - Roman Emperor from AD 161 to 180) but commonly known as our beloved “Ken”.
Team 1: Avalon/Brian (The Entertainers)
Team 2: Agassi/Aurelius...Clarke Kent, Ken (The Gods)
Match 1:
The Entertainers
We bought our whole entourage.......full orchestral band, hair stylist, makeup, full bar stocked with Solo. Set started off slowly, dropping our serve and going down 1-3. Midway in the set Avalon drops his serve and Glenhuntly have a double break. Immediately The Solo Man steps up and plays a string of points, controlling the passage of play, whilst Avalon sits down to get hair spray on his mop. WE BREAK BACK, but still down a break. We got very close, but after a gallant effort we go down 8 - 10
Agassi/Aurelius...Clarke Kent, Ken (The Gods)
With Agassi taking the forehand and whatchamacallhim controlling backhand, the strategy was transparent – Agassi sets up the point for Aurelius to close.
Aurelius with his thundering first serve (like a thunderbolt from the Gods of Olympus – I know Aurelius is Roman, but l would like to clarify the Greeks taught them everything), was planting massive serves into the court, setting up Agassi for easy volleys.
The match was close, but The Gods were not on their side and went down 8 - 10
Match 2:
The Entertainers
Pissed off with the loss of the first match, we needed to make amends and broke immediately to a 4 – 0 lead.....Avalon looked hot (as he always does) and The Solo Man could slam down a can faster than Aurelius’s first serve – it was poetry in motion. We played some fantastic rallies, keeping the point alive and committing to every shot.
Good win at 10 – 7
The Gods
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Throughout the match, we could hear certain noises coming from this court. Body language hands on hips, flustered faces, silence on the court, ‘evil stares’ – the love just wasn’t there. The Gods finished the match and The Entertainers were still playing theirs – not a good sign.
Nevertheless, it was a good effort but the boys went down 5 – 10
So in summary:
8 - 10
10 - 7
8 - 10
5 - 10
Winners: Glenhuntly 37 – 31
Good effort boys -
Translated for the original Greek -Nostis.
thanks to Peter K and D, Kerry, Alan, Fish, Y and Kev for coming along and supporting the lads.
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| Note the prince of darkness holding court (sic) |
NEXT MATCH July 14th
V Stella Maris Heathens AWAY
alan nil yuri & mark
Our "other"sponsor. BTW Nosti is giving one away free for all roosters!
May 5 V PORT MELBOURNE PILLOW BITERS (home)
May 12 V MCC MAGGOTS (away)
neale nick mark alan 3-1 LOSS Mark&Al 10 zip x2
May 19 V PARKDALE POOVES (home)
deano alan mark brian DRAW
nick yuri dennis alan 2-2 WIN on games
June 2 V STELLA MARIS HEATHENS (home)
nick nosti dean and nil 4-0 WIN
June 16 V PORT MELBOURNE PILLOW BITERS (away)
alan dennis brian nele 4-1 WIN
June 23 V MCC MAGGOTS (home)
June 30 V PARKDALE POOVES (away)
mark nick brian yuri 3-1 Loss (y&n a win)
July 7 V GLENHUNTLY GIRLS (home)
nosti dennis brian mark 3-1 Loss (n&b a win)
July 14 V STELLA MARIS HEATHENS (away)
July 21 V PORT MELBOURNE PILLOW BITERS (home)
July 28 V MCC MAGGOTS (away)
Aug 4 V PARKDALE POOVES (home)
Aug 11 V GLENHUNTLY GIRLS (away)
Aug 18 V STELLA MARIS HEATHENS (home)
Aug 25 SEMI-FINAL nick dean
Sept 1 FINAL nick dean
and finally....
Funny Tennis Quotes
Ladies, here’s a hint. If you’re up against a girl with big b/o/o/bs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. That’s the hardest shot for the well-endowed.
Billie Jean King
It’s a lot of bling to play with. You got to have the bling.
Serena Williams after playing with $40K diamond earrings
It’s one-on-one out there, man. There ain’t no hiding. I can’t pass the ball.
Pete Sampras
The serve was invented so that the net could play.
Bill Cosby
Though your game is hardly the best you can fray your opponent’s nerves by methodically bouncing the ball at least ten times before your serves.
Arnold J. Zarett
My player box is going to be full of celebrities, too; my dad, this guy Jose Hidalgo, his guest, my buddy from SC [University of Southern California]. That’s about it. I’ll probably get an autograph from Tiger in between sets. I’ll bring a golf ball with me.”
– Sam Querrey on Tiger Woods sitting in Roger Federer’s box for their match in Miami.
“Valentine’s Day was created by women to get men in trouble.”
Andy Roddick
Interviewer: So, are you enjoying New York?
Roger Federer: It’s OK for two weeks.
Andre Agassi: Let’s see what you’ve got, big boy.
Andy Roddick: Hair.
Umpire: If the machine beeps, what can I do?
Andy: Switch it off and use your brain!
when asked how it felt when mikhail youzhny won russia the davis cup in the decisive rubber, safin responded, “It feels better than sex.”
The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed.” (Martina Navratilova)
It’s called Retail Therapy.” (Maria Sharapova, on going shopping after an Australian Open defeat to Serena Williams)
I think the medical term for the injury is ‘the bottom of my a/s/s hurts.’” (Andy Roddick)
I love Wimbledon. But why don’t they stage it in the summer?” (Vijay Amritraj during the rain-drenched 2007 Championships)
I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you.” (Serena Williams to courtside interviewer who wanted to know the content of the notes she reads at changeovers)
I don’t think anyone ever feared him in the locker room.” (Todd Martin, on being asked if he thought the ageing Pete Sampras had finally lost the fear factor in the locker room)
Pete is a step and a half slower.” (Greg Rusedski after losing to Pete Sampras in the US Open)
“Against him I don’t need to be a step and a half quicker.” ( Pete Sampras responding to Greg Rusedski’s criticism – he went on to win the title! )
I remember when Jimmy and I went into confession and he came out a half-hour later and I said, ‘How’d it go?’ He said, ‘I wasn’t finished. The priest said come back next Sunday.’” (Chris Evert, on Jimmy Connors)
My feelings are Yevgeny Kafelnikov should take his prize money when he is done here and go and buy some perspective.” (Andre Agassi)
Thanks, but no. I want to be a winner.” (Maria Sharapova on being compared to Anna Kournikova)
The Argentineans practise on the court for two hours a day, then they must practise in front of a mirror for two more hours saying ‘I’m not guilty.’” (Vince Spadea on Argentine players and drug testing)
The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself.” (Goran Ivanisevic)
Actually, I tossed it nicely – landed nicely, like airplane. No warning, beautiful. That’s the art of throwing racquets.” (Goran Ivanisevic)
Lady, can you speak up a little bit? Indianapolis is a little far from Europe – I can’t hear you.” (Marat Safin)
Not yet. It’s my first day on the job. Give me some time.” (Marat Safin, on not breaking a racket during his first match of 2002)
If Pete’s child is a girl, my son will like her; if he’s a boy, my son will defeat him.” (Andre Agassi)
She is woman . . . I am man.” (Marat Safin, on being asked the difference between him and Anna Kournikova)
Be lucky, guess the corner, close your eyes and hope there is a God. You have to be a little religious to break his serve.” (Magnus Larsson on the key to breaking the Pete Sampras serve)
I can’t believe he is dumping me, his buddy for seven years, for a kid he’s never seen before.” (Paul Haarhuis complaining about his doubles partner Jacco Eltingh flying home from the US Open for the birth of his son)
He can’t cook.” (Michael Chang, on being asked to list Pete Sampras’s weaknesses)
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