Round 5, June 6, Pt Melb home: Lets play The Blame Game...

Last Saturday: a shocking defeat to Pt Melb by 2 games after winning & losing 2 sets! This means that we are running 5th out of 8 and they are 4th, and as both of us have to play the top 2 sides in the next 2 weeks this is the probable standings at the half way mark (round 7) of the season (when all teams have played each other), unless we can create some magic against Mordi & Parkdale. Next Match: Saturday 18th away against Mordialloc. Team is Alan(again), Nosti, Mark & Nick. Neale is first reserve in waiting. Saturday’s players please come down for practice on Thursday the 16th at 8pm so we can have a set together as this match is going to be a biggie. If anyone wants to get there earlier then please email me & I’ll come down with the key. The Return of one of the Golden Greeks: Nosti returned on court last Saturday looking fit, relaxed, tanned and beaming after a holiday in the US, supposedly to “DisneyLand”, but we all know why a lot of people go to the US. He returned with a new fluro bag, bat, boots  and other baggage; a complete new image. I must say, he has never looked so good, as the picture shows. Round 5, June 4 match summary: We won 2 sets (both against the opposition #2 pair) but lost the day by 2 games to Pt Melb, at home with what supposedly was a good set of players. Results were: Nosti & Alan (6-10, 10-3), Mark & Vic (10-7, 2-10). The Team is on a rampage on who to blame, and the #1 suspect is obvious: Yuri leadership advice #3: “Always blame someone whenever anything goes wrong as people love to focus their anger/disappointment” Yuri leadership advice #4: “Never admit to doing anything wrong yourself as it will be seen as a sign of weakness” Once the whining and gnashing of teeth had died down, some facts were presented to the Team: 1)      The #1 pair (Nosti & Alan) failed to beat Pt Melb #1 (6-10), so it’s hard to win the day when that happens 2)      The #2 pair (Vic & Mark) lost 4 more games than #1 pair against each of the opposition pairs (2-10, 10-7). They should never have been Club Champions and the APLTC is forever in disrepute because of it. 3)      Both games that were lost were on #1 court next to the club house where Yuri was sitting; away from Yuri both pairs won. 4)      A number of times the Pt Melb Team joked with Yuri about playing together (it was later found out that Yuri is gathering support to get on the committee at Pt Melb Club, having failed at APLTC). His loyalty to the Team must be in question? 5)      At a critical point during the #1 pairs set that was lost, Yuri disrupted the flow of the game by bringing out the Club Mascot (the big tennis ball). 6)      At a critical point during the #2 pairs set that was lost, Yuri disrupted the flow of the game by purposely munching loudly on his apple strudel and slurping his coffee. 7)      During both sets that were lost, whenever we put in a strong serve a let was called. There were an inexplicable number of calls. There definitely was a noise, but it didn’t sound like a ball brushing the net, and it seemed to be emanating from the club house. This, as it so happened, was Yuri flicking his thong. Now this may be hard to believe, but it was admitted to on Tuesday night (witnesses: Brian, Bruce & Neale). In the Main Man’s own words: “I learnt to play with my thong during those long cold winter nights in the Siberian Gulag when I found I could put a tune together. It kept the boys spirits up at night as we sang along in a daze of home-made potato vodka. During the day we toiled to make the Soviet nation great, and at nights we made sweet music .It was the best time of my life. Thank you Mother Russia for the opportunities and the memories. At first I just picked, then learnt to flick and finally to strum, and recently I’ve developed a technique where I don’t have to use any hands….”  I didn’t enquire any further and quickly changed the subject. As we all know, Yuri is sought after in the music world for his unique sound and he has won an ARIA award for compositions. We may just have found out the secret of his mix…. If you are reading this then an image of Yuri flicking his thong has been irreversibly been scorched into your brain and, rest assured, when you are on your deathbed and all your life rushes before you in an instant that will be one of the images that pops up. It could be the last thing you see as you leave this earth…. The  Peanut Gallery: Thanks again to Kevin for casting his experienced eyes on the proceedings, Annabel (& Lara & Arabella) for the muffins, and, I guess, for Yuri’s “support”, so to speak. Gossip: Deano has been conspicuously absent lately and can’t play the 18th because he is going to a wedding, but he refuses to say for whom…. Practice: Thursday 16th @ 8pm. If you like to hit earlier than please phone/email me and I’ll come down with the keys. The Big Tissue: Another superlative Afternoon Tea was presented by the Team. We didn’t have Neale’s table laying skills or Yuri’s cooking magic from last week, but Alan still rated it 2 thumbs up, a smack of the lips, and another rare lick of the chops. Link Tours is running a special at $35 a head with matching Victorian wines for punters to come along, so tell your friends. Should be a great appeal to all those gamers out there after spending an exhausting 20min playing virtual tennis on the Wii they can come down and savour an authentic club atmosphere and experience the post-match comradery. Should also be popular with bus loads of Chinese tourists after Li Na’s win. Paul never misses an opportunity.  As usual, all complaints please send to what_about_me@yuri.com.au, and any positive comments to spam_blocked_virus_quarantine@yuri.com.au and just ignore the mailbox full message. Don’t forget to check out the blog: albertkpark.blogspot.com. Enjoy the long tennis-free weekend! Mark